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The Martians Don’t Like Change, Do You?

 

August 29, 2007

T. Jay Maddox - SCR

 

Under the guise of a parachutist at the opening ceremonies of the NASCAR Cup race at Bristol, it seemed the Martians landed Saturday night dragging an American flag with them. In the process they capture you and took you up into their spaceship for a discussion about changes to the track.

 

They are not very happy.

 

For years now they have allowed the Earthlings to survive largely based on entertainment. One of their favorite earthling events was the NASCAR races at the Bristol Motor Speedway (BMS), but now that seems to have all changed.

 

They have a few questions for you. Why was Bristol changed? You answer, well change is good, and we need to constantly be looking for ways to improve.

They then ask, what was broken?  Well nothing really, you answer, but we just thought it was time to make things better. They respond with questions centered on great races from the past. 

 

What was wrong with beatin’ and bangin’?  What was wrong with cars getting moved to the top and freight-trained from the bottom?  What was wrong with Dale Earnhardt Sr. rattlin’ Terry Labonte’s cage and winnin’ with a lesser car?

 

After the questions about Bristol their questions change and now seem to be centered on other changes the earthlings have planned for the future in NASCAR. They ask, what’s next?  Do you plan to change our favorite driver from the red No. 8 with the beverage we have become very fond of?  Do your people plan to have both of the Busch brothers in the Chase and leave Dale Earnhardt Jr. out? 

 

They then say what will you tell us next, that you plan to replace popular food fanfare of turkey legs with ostrich wings?  Have you earthlings lost your minds?

  

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Well, you answer, I don’t want to make you mad, but those things are possible. The Martians seem really upset about the possibility of both Busch’s’ in the Chase. But with the appearance of giving you one last chance they offer this last opportunity to make things right.

 

They tell you as long as there are no plans to have Junior drive for the evil empire at Hendricks Motorsports, they will allow you to return to Earth unharmed and allow Earth as a planet to continue revolving.

 

The Martians say they willing to accept the changes that made multiple grooves at Bristol, caution flags more scarce than a Kyle Petty win, and a race more boring than watching paint dry.  But, you hesitate to tell the Martians that Jr. is not going to be in the chase.

 

Questions, Comments;

Email T. Jay 

 

The views and opinions in this article are that of the writer(s) and not necessarily that of SCR

 

 

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